Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
