how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
