Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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