This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
