I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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