i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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