I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
