Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
