he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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