Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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