Kiss
Puke
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
should my penis look like a turkey
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
