I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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