I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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