She's JV to your varsity
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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