I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
