I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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