Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Come share oat with me in your robe
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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