I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
