Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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