community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
