Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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