And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
