I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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