Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
