I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
So squirting runs in the family.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
