he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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