I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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