I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Randomize
