I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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