you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
