don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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