he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
