your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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