Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I bet he comes in French.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
