Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
