we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
