How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
