thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
as a side note pls kill me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
