chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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