I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
