He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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