He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
