Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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