I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
