dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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