im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
