:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
