Tell her she can't have a vagina
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
