i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Randomize
