He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
