You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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