my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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