i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
