im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
