dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
